Generosity

I'm writing today to talk about generosity.
A funny thing has happened to me since I had my Gastric Sleeve Surgery on January 24th this year.  I have become more generous, and yes, it is a direct result of the surgery.
For some strange reason, I have always had an intense fear of ever being hungry.  That is why when I go to work, I pack more food and snacks than I could ever eat in the course of a day.  Yes, I still do this now, even with a stomach the size of a hi-lighter pen.  So, you could say that I am a food hoarder.  I don't keep food in my room, or hide food (although I have done that before).  But you could say I was very...stingy with my food.
I always had my eye on the serving bowl to be certain that noone had taken the last of anything, and if it looked threatening, I would gather more onto my own plate to be sure I didn't miss out.
This has been a huge revelation for me.  I still have the feelings that I might miss out on some of the food fun, but now, I'm forced to be happy with what I have.  And let me tell you, that lesson spans over a person's entire life.  Be happy with what you have.  Quit always wanting more, that little bit extra that you believe will make you happy.
So when I look at my plate, I now realize, "I have the same exact stuff I would be having as before, the flavors are all there...so now, just enjoy every single bite because that's all you get!"
I'm getting to the generosity part.
Being a bit of a selfish person (I'm realizing), it is an entirely foreign concept for me to give away food that is on my plate that I can't eat.  And when I do, holy cow.  It sets off such a wonderful rush of emotion in me that is hard to explain.
Who knew that sharing my food with others would or could make me feel like such a generous person.  The cool thing about that is, it inspires me to want to be more generous in all areas of my life.  I am inspiring myself.  What????
I want to be a better person.  And so I shall be.
xoxoxo
Lisa
P.S.--I'm down 97 pounds.

90 pounds is a lot...

I hit the 90 pound weight loss marker on Saturday (two days ago)...and I'm realizing that there is no way I could strap on 90 pounds of weights and carry that around for even one minute.  HOW DID I DO THAT????
No wonder my knees and feet hurt so bad there towards the end.
I purged more clothes this last weekend.  The exciting part of that was that I got to bring down clothes from the attic I had optimistically saved, hoping I would one day again get into them.  That would not have happened without my surgery though, I am 100% positive of that.
Sometimes I feel like a cheater, especially when I see other overweight people struggling with the urges, guilt and pain associated with carrying extra weight.  My heart goes out to everyone who has ever struggled with their weight, and I will forever send positive energies their way in hopes that they too will find a solution that works for them.  I have luckily found mine.
I have to give a big shout out to my girlfriend, Michelle, for being one of my biggest fans and supporters during this whole process.  It means so much to know that I have my friends and family rooting for me!
Love you all!
Lisa

One-Derland!

One-Derland!

I finally made it. One-Derland greeted me this morning on the scale with a number of 198.6. For some reason, making into the one hundred's feels like more of an accomplishment than the 81 pounds I've lost since January 24th. I'm almost out of the obese category (here I come overweight category!) I have decreased my BMI by exactly 13 points.
More than anything, it is so nice to feel comfortable in my skin again. I have spent most of my adult life NOT comfortable in it, and it's about time. I deserve this.
Thank you to all my Sleeve friends for your support and words of wisdom. Every post made here is helping someone...and I am most grateful to each and every one of you.
Hugs,
~Lisa~

Magic number!

What have I been doing wrong?
Seeds, popcorn, rice, potatoes, butter.

I have a new magic number to help guide me, as I feel lost so much of the time regarding how much to eat. 2 tablespoons equals one ounce.  4 ounces equals 1/2 cup.  8 tablespoons!  8 bites!  That's my magic number!  This excites me. I am at 200.0 pounds today; I just cannot break the 200 pound mark.  But I cannot be surprised with the choices I've been making, and the fact that I haven't been working out, with the exception of the random bike ride with the family. 
But now I have a tool. The number 8. Yay!

Thrilled!

It's been a while since I've blogged...but today, I blog with a passion about my surgery.
Official loss as of this morning is 72 pounds even.
That is nearly 55% of my excess weight (which is good even at a year post op) and I am only 15 weeks out.  That's not even 4 months.
I pretty much eat what I want (albeit very small quantities), and am only cycling for exercise (and not even very consistently).
I have absolutely no regrets; this has been the best thing I have ever done for myself.  Actually, that isn't ENTIRELY true.  There are still times when I wish I could EAT THE WHOLE THING.  But once my stomach has had it's fill, that desire goes away pretty fast.
Aaron and I had a conversation recently about what exactly is going to stop me from losing too much weight once I reach my goal.  My thinking is, if I do get to that point, (which I'm not exactly worried I'll lose too much weight---how could such a thing happen to ME???) but if I DO...I may just have to start drinking my calories!!!!  Or ice cream will become my new best friend.
Either way, I believe I have extended my life span by years, and I look forward to seeing my statistics when I go for my yearly exam.
Thanks for tuning in friends!
~Lisa~

60 Pounds...

Wow.  60 pounds less than I was 11.5 weeks ago.  That's an average of about 5 1/4 pounds per week.  That makes me very happy.
After looking at a popular Gastric Bypass forum, I see that they lose weight at an average of 3-3.5 pounds per week.  So I believe I am on the right track.
We have been very active on the bikes the last few weeks since the weather has been nice...and I am loving it.  I feel so happy when I'm on my bike, and I feel even more fantastic when I'm done.  It's much more exciting for me than walking, and much less painful than when I try to walk.
I turn 40 in 9 days, and sometimes my joints make me feel like I'm 80.  So it's so nice to have an activity that I love that doesn't HURT!
I am still eating between 600-700 calories per day...can't get much more than that and still stay in the healthy category of food.  Oh sure, I could go eat some ice cream or some other high calorie food, but in my opinion it's not worth it.  And as long as I don't dip below 500 calories per day, I continue to lose weight.  That I can do.
I have been watching the two maple trees in our front yard come into bloom, and it is so cool to watch.  You see the tiny buds and within a few days it seems, they are in full bloom.  It is a time of renewal and new life, and I am truly enjoying every part of it.

Keepin' on Keepin' On!

Well, the trip to Tampa was a success.  I got to put my toes in the sand.


My weight stalled for a couple of days, but is on the move again.  I wasn't feeling well for a few days after returning home; I was extremely dizzy and tired.  I don't think my body like airplanes, and I was on a lot of them.

My total loss as of this morning is 57 pounds.  Yay!
We had dinner at mom's tonight, and while I was there she gave me a picture of she and I just before my surgery, and my face truly looks like it's swollen in the picture.  I couldn't believe the difference just 57 pounds makes when I still have so far to go.

My 40th birthday is right around the corner; not sure how I feel about that just yet.  I may have to pretend I'm 39 for a while.  Like the rest of my life.

All I know is that with the recent passing of my cousin at age 43, I am very happy to have made this very important decision to have the surgery.  I have hopefully added years to my life.  There's a lot to love about it, and I'm all about making it as long and healthy as possible!

Low energy

Haven't been able to eat much the last few days, and am feeling low energy.  My stomach has felt somewhat irritated and I get full much more quickly.  Not sure what's going on, but I think it's normal from time to time to have irritation.
So I've lost a total of 53 pounds as of this morning.  Yesterday was 9 weeks since surgery.  I can't complain about the weight loss.
I walked yesterday for maybe 15 minutes, and my hips hurt.  So frustrating that I'm dealing with this at age 39.  I only hope that as I lose more weight, the joint issues get better.  My feet are already better by far, so I have high hopes.
Leaving for Tampa Thursday (provided the Miami Airport fires are extinguished) and look forward to putting my toes in the sand!

Bad day yesterday...

I consumed food I shouldn't have yesterday.  It was my daughters birthday party at Pizza Hut, and I only ate half of the topping off of a supreme piece, but I did eat a bit of cake.  Then I snuck some marshmallow creme here at home, even though I was feeling so guilty about what I had already eaten.  Obviously, I still have a lot of work to do in the mental department of this weight loss thing.  Too bad I don't get dumping syndrome when I eat sugar like gastric bypass patients do.  :/
I guess I need to realize that I am going to have off days, and that I can't waste the entire next day beating myself up for it.  What a waste of time that is.  I can move on, and I must.  So I am forgiving myself.  You, Lisa, "I forgive you!"  It's ok!  It's not the end of the world, and you aren't going to stop losing weight because of a minor slip up like that.
So we'll see how the positive affirmations go.  I'll keep you posted.

Feeling stuck

This week has been tough.  I feel like I'm stuck, even though I'm still taking in a ridiculously low number of calories per day and doing my cardio.  I lost about a pound and a half this week.  I know there are people who are having 2, 3, and even 4 week plateaus after Weight Loss Surgery, but I sometimes wonder if they are eating the wrong stuff.
For the most part, I am not eating the wrong stuff.  My surgeon says that I should be eating 7-800 calories per day.  I find it counter-intuitive to think that eating more calories will help me lose weight.  So, I make sure  I eat less than 5-700.  Maybe that's what is slowing me down, and what is making me feel down too.
Could be that mother nature has made her appearance for the month as well.  Cramps never make a girl feel good.
Currently, I am eating a protein shake for breakfast most days, other days I'll have an egg and a slice of turkey bacon.  Haven't tried oatmeal yet because of the high carbs.  Lunch is sometimes leftovers from dinner the night before, but can also be about 1/3 can of tuna with light mayo and relish, or canned chicken with the same.
Dinner is usually something like fish or chicken with (if I can get it down) a bit of veggies or rice.  I need to start eating some fruit, but am not sure where that fits in to a diet supposed to be so low in carbs.  Scares me to try a banana.  Am I getting too twisted here?
:-/

I WAS depressed today

This whole weight loss surgery thing is hard to get my head around.
Now that I'm healed from the surgery (5 weeks out), I am basically on my own as far as making choices of what to eat and what not to eat.  I no longer have my liquid/full liquid/soft foods diet to guide me.  I am on solid food now, and I'm telling you...it is harder.
I have to take bites that are essentially half the size of what I am used to.  I am still trying to figure out how to eyeball half a cup (volume).  Further, I think I'm going to go to 1/3 cup at a time because when I eat a full 1/2 cup of food, I am overfull.
I am realizing that I do better eating 5 small meals rather than 3 regular meals.  When I wait that long to eat anything, my stomach is unable to accept much food, and as a result, I wasn't getting enough calories.
Last night, the family wanted pizza.  We had done this one other time since my surgery, and I had a few pieces of the sausage, because the majority of my nutrition is supposed to come from protein.  Fine.  Last night, I didn't eat the pizza itself, I scraped the cheese and sausage off the top.  Mostly protein, but mostly fat too.  Depressing after I thought about it.
I'm also finding it difficult to force myself to work out.  Today, I forced myself to get on the treadmill when I really wanted to crawl back into bed.  I jogged for a bit, and wow.  I instantly feel better.  Why is is such a challenge to just do it every day?  I KNOW it makes me feel better, usually right away.  Well, one little success at a time--I got on today, I can do it again if I'm feeling down.
I think I'll be ok.
:-)