Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Pre-op Diet Day 5

Wow.  Day 5.  Today at work went by more easily.  I'm realizing a lot of things.  Like, when I can finally eat real food again, I am really going to appreciate it.  I hope I never lose the appreciation for having the food I need to sustain my life. It is truly a gift, and I have been abusing it for so many years.  The smell of food affects me some, but not much.  I guess it's having the mindset that I am on a mission, and that mission includes being on this pre-op diet for 14 days.  I do wish I was further along in this phase.  However, I know that come next Wednesday or Thursday, I will probably be freaking out, knowing tha it's getting close.
On the way home from work tonight, I realized that this is really happening.  I only ever dreamed that I could have the surgery, and now, it is a reality.  It is hard to get my head around it.  I know it is serious surgery, and that there are major risks and possible complications.  And it still just freaks me out that it is really happening.
The fact that I am getting by on 7-800 calories every day is freaking me out.  I don't think I could do it on my own if it wasn't a requirement.  But somehow, knowing that it is a requirement, it is easier.  If I had been told I could eat a variety of things, it might actually be harder.  So strange.
I look forward to the time after I'm back on regular foods, and eating small portions, small bites.  I think that all of this re-training is going to be just what I need to develop new habits.  I really look forward to being a skinny, healthy me.

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